First-time Mom at 42: The Second and Last Trimesters

(Continued from Part I and Part II) My second trimester was a breeze. I felt a renewed love for cooking. After work and on weekends, I prepared meals for my husband. 

I kept a record of my pregnancy in The Bump’s Pregnancy Planner and Journal. I still kept away from malls and crowded places and did practically all my shopping for maternity clothes and baby items online. I made a list of all the things our baby will need on her first year and was able to tick off the items one by one, thanks to family who sent in loads of gifts and friends who threw me a baby shower. I even managed to get this blog updated and do some spring cleaning to make room for new purchases.

Gifts from my husband's siblings

First tub

One of the highlights of our second trimester was the congenital anomaly scan, a highly advanced ultrasound procedure that can examine in detail if all the baby’s vital organs developed properly. It was quite unnerving but also such a relief to find out that everything—kidneys, skull, brain, lips, limbs, etc.—was all right. It also confirmed that we were having a girl! My husband was ecstatic. My long-slumbering maternal instinct was roused upon hearing our baby’s heartbeat and seeing her outline on the monitor with legs spread out, her lips moving as she chewed on her fingers.

I managed to sustain this energy until the third trimester. I never missed family gatherings, especially because we were all looking forward to the high school graduation of my eldest niece, Joanna. I touched base with dear friends. I even managed to book an Easter staycation at Aruga by Rockwell with my pamangkins.

Bathroom selfie

But as the third trimester progressed, I started feeling the weight of my pregnancy, literally. My butt was in constant pain. I experienced edema on my feet. I wore Fitflops everywhere.

To make matters worse, what started as allergic rhinitis advanced into a cold. My OB-gyne prescribed an antihistamine initially. I took one tablet, which I regretted instantly, fearing the possible sedative effect on my baby. I didn’t take any more.

When my sniffles didn’t clear up and I began to cough and have a low-grade fever, my OB-gyne prescribed an antibiotic. I was against it but my baby was nearing full term and I had to get well before my due date. I decided to go with her suggestion. I got better quickly.

Throughout my pregnancy, my OB-gyne repeatedly said I was likely to undergo a C-section delivery, considering my age, the fact that I was an elderly primigravida (a term referring to a woman older than 35 years who is pregnant for the first time), and that I had only one ovary (one was surgically removed in 2000 due to an ovarian cyst). Yet, despite all the factors working against me, my pregnancy went very smoothly and I remained strong and healthy except for the recent bout with cold.

At my last checkup end of April 2016, my OB-gyne said that, since the baby and I were doing so well, she'd give me the chance to deliver normally, provided I went into labor before the 40th week. She advised me to start walking regularly, especially up and down the stairs.

By this time, I had gained around 25 pounds so walking was not as easy. And there was little free time because I was still reporting to work. But I took her advice seriously and walked as much as I could.

May 8, 2016, Sunday, was Mother’s Day. It was also a long weekend because the next day was election day. My husband and I made arrangements with my parents and my brother’s family to meet in Shangrila Plaza for lunch. I set my alarm clock at 10 a.m. When I got up, I had the distinct feeling that I had peed on my pants. I went to the bathroom to check. I saw blood. (To be continued)

First-Time Mom at 42 (Or Why I've Been Quiet On This Blog For Some Time)

While many people I know approach turning 40 with dread, I looked forward to it with elation. I’d never felt better about myself. The last time I felt that way was when I was 25 or so, living an itinerant life while publishing a multicultural magazine named Tribu. In a stroke of youthful braggadocio, I wrote in one editorial that I had never felt my mind so sharp, so free, so incandescent. Intellectually, spiritually, I was soaring.

With turning 40, it was different. I experienced a delight that came from groundedness, gratitude, and acceptance. I remember spending the weekends with my nieces and nephew, learning how to ride the bike along with them. I remember embracing my boyfriend and our life together, without reservations or expectations.

Sometime past my mid-30s, I was diagnosed with endometriosis. I felt crushed, especially because I had already lost one ovary due to an ovarian cyst when I was in my 20s. I didn’t expect to feel so devastated. I had no plans of having a baby so it shouldn’t have mattered if I kept or lost the other ovary.

I went to another OB-gyne for a second opinion. The diagnosis turned out to be wrong. She gave me some medication, which I supplemented with several sessions of acupuncture, and in two months, I was perfectly fine.

But I was never the same in the years to come. I began to wonder whether I should consider motherhood as part of my future. There were days when I was convinced it should, and there were others when I’d almost retch at the prospect.

I asked my boyfriend about the possibility. We always had this notion that we were made in the mold of Carrie and Mr. Big (of Sex & The City) and that our life was complete with just each other. I was dumbfounded when he said yes, and when later he would change his mind, I felt a mix of regret and relief.

Life went on and our relationship became stronger than ever. We were different in a lot of ways but the same in all the ways that mattered. He gets me completely, and I knew I didn’t want to spend my life with anybody else.

We loved exploring new places together, trying out new experiences. We took my pamangkins on staycations and road trips. We also spent a lot of time with our married friends whose children we treated like our own, as well as with single friends whom we could drag to late-nights out at a moment’s notice. I would hie off to Tagaytay for an all-girl weekend with our fairy godmother Sonya or enrol in cooking, calligraphy and other courses that caught my fancy.

So as I approached the dreaded age of 40, I didn’t feel that something was missing. My heart was full, and the gypsy in me was dancing ecstatically to a life untethered. (To be continued)

Life Happened (Part II)

My office has been busy working on various projects for the elections. Our news website, GMANews Online, got over 10M page views on election day, and ramped up to 21M page views the following day. Our mobile apps, meanwhile, earned rave reviews from users. Similarly, Digify has been humming with activity with so many new products in the pipeline. I consider myself blessed to be working with such a great team.


Right-most is the yema tart at Pinto’s restaurant

Since it’s summer and my nieces and nephew are on vacation, I’ve also been lining up activities that we can do together. Last weekend, we visited Pinto Museum in Antipolo. I had been there before, back in the days when it was just the house of Dr. Cuanang and a venue for select art exhibits, particularly those of the Salimpusa group. I don’t recall the place being that big. We had a wonderful lunch at Siraulo restaurant inside the premises. It is run by Bizu but the menu is entirely different. I am recalling the yema tart as I write this and my mouth is starting to water. Our Antipolo sojourn extended till past midnight, with visits to Thunderbird Resort for halo-halo and pizza, and OneA for videoke.


The kids after their swim

I’ve also been wanting to take the kids to Ace Water Spa. With a slack in my schedule one Thursday morning, I did. We spent almost 3 hours in the water. The hydro-massage stations were great, specially those that worked on the upper back and shoulders, because that’s where my tension accumulates. I brought the kids with me to the office after and treated them to merienda at the 17th floor lounge. For dessert, I took them to Judd’s room and opened up his chocolate stash to them. They filled their pockets with flat tops and chocnuts. While waiting for their daddy to pick them up, they listened to music. Joaki found Judd’s speakers and attached his phone to it. He played Psy’s latest single. Julia loves Psy so she merrily danced to the song. She’s too funny.


Che’s portrait of our beautiful Mama

The day before Mother’s Day, the family went to Sip and Gogh to paint. Che and I wanted to do a portrait of Mama. We wanted to work on a single canvas together but when we learned that the charge was still going to be on a per person, we decided to work on our own canvasses. I ended up painting my brother. JM chose to paint her mom Joy while Julia and Jenna painted flowers.


Joyful painters


My latest work

This wasn’t my first time at Sip & Gogh. I had been there with Judd and the Sarmiento couple, Bambi and Mon. The second time was with the Sarmiento kids in tow. Both times, I explored my inner Van Gogh. Unfortunately, there’s not much there. Still, I thoroughly enjoyed the process. In fact, I just went back there this weekend with Judd, Darwin and Ate Pam. I made this. My best work yet, I think.

Bangkok with Gusto (Part I)

Red Oven Restaurant at Sofitel So Bangkok

My memory of my first visit to Bangkok was starting to cloud over, having happened almost ten years ago. I remember being booked in a tourist class hotel, making friends with a group of gay tourists who became constant company throughout the trip, getting the shock of my life in Pat Pong (that warren of street hawkers, raucous bars and raunchy sex clubs), haggling for a sarong at the night market, visiting Ayutthaya and being very tired from the long, long walks.



With my folks traveling with me this time, together with my brother and my niece JM, the pace was decidedly more sedate. We wanted to eat well, sleep well and shop every chance we got. Since my niece was with us, we made the obligatory visit to some temples to give her a whiff of Thai culture.



How cool is this ceiling?

This trip had quite a few wins in my book, convincing me that this bustling city certainly deserves a third look.

1. Sofitel So Bangkok


 The chic reception-area-cum-bar

I first read about Sofitel So Bangkok in Daphne’s Blog. I remember being completely taken by the photographs because of the hotel’s design aesthetic. An ambitious stab at multicultural, yes, but it works. As a collaboration between Monsieur Christian Lacroix and contemporary Thai designers, the hotel brought the best of Thai and French sensibilities, even a hint of Scandinavian. It could easily have gone wrong in the hands of lesser artists.

Some may be put off by the hipster vibe, but it is elegantly executed and not overly young. My brother, ever sharp when it comes to good fashion, couldn’t resist asking a male staff where he can buy his very chic breeches. Unfortunately, it is an exclusive design for So Bangkok by Monsieur  Lacroix.

Family Outing in Baguio Part 2: BCC plus food and more food

There was a time when I’d go to Baguio to run with the wolves, also known as the artists and creatives who give so much color, spirit and authenticity to the summer capital. During my past two visits, however, I have settled to cocooning myself with food. I have lost my fangs it seems, or perhaps they’re retractable after all.

Taking it easy at BCC cottage Narra

Posing in front of a neighboring cottage on our way to breakfast

Buffet breakfast at BCC Clubhouse

Toying with the camera’s macro settings

I love bread

Mama and me buying raisin bread, banana bread and coffee roll at the BCC bakeshop

At the Baguio cathedral

Waiting for the chocolate de batirol

Finally

A small portion of our barbecue dinner

Family Outing in Baguio: Cafe by the Ruins

                   JM and me at the cafe

I am ecstatic about the new route to Baguio via SCTEX. From the Shell station in NLEX, it took us only 4.5 hours to get to Baguio, from the previous 7 hours via the main route.

                           Thai salad

Short as the trip may have been, by the time we arrived at Baguio Country Club to check in, my corned beef breakfast was history and I was raring for lunch. We quickly deposited our bags at our three-bedroom cottage and took off for Cafe by the Ruins. We were caught in traffic at the Maharlika market, which was the only route I was familiar with. By the time we got to the resto, I was bleary-eyed from hunger. Thankfully, we were rewarded with fantastic food.

   Shrimp curry with papadums and chutney

                       A cozy nook

The cafe has changed little since my last visit three years ago, except for the expansion to accommodate more al fresco tables. I loved my shrimp curry and the crispy tapa for sharing. My palate was raring to try all of the breads and the strawberries with whipped cream but, alas, I had only so much tummy space. I capped off my meal with Ruins coffee, which had a wonderful foam on top sprinkled with cardamom. Soul therapy on a rainy day.

                          Crispy tapa

             Scones with butter and jam

                       Caffeine fix